Joshua and I share our thoughts on living together since getting married.
photo by faith teasley photography
Joshua and I are back today with another marriage talk {see our previous post here}. This one might not be marriage for everyone as lots of people live together before marriage. For Joshua and I though, this wasn’t something we did until after saying “I Do” {woohooo}. In today’s post, we’re sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly about living together + our thoughts on waiting until marriage to do so.
Let me just say, as I do in one of my answers below, we are not judging anyone for living together prior to getting married. We both have friends and family members that have done so. We totally get it! There’s lot of reasons to do so and again we understand! That just wasn’t in the cards for us, so we’re sharing our experience with the whole process.
1.What’s your favorite thing about living together?
Joshua: I really enjoy getting to spend so much time together. Waking up next to each other every day and going to sleep together is every night. Getting to share life together in every aspect of it. I really enjoy having the woman I love there for me everyday whether good or bad.
Laura Leigh: I LOVE the simple moments. Falling asleep and waking up next to one another, having dinner together every night, lounging after work on the couch together, and being able to get a hug whenever I want one. I love hugs!
2.What’s your least favorite thing about living together?
Joshua: Not having as much alone time for those rare moments when I just want to chill out alone. Which is not much just ask Laura.
Laura Leigh: Not having me time. I’m incredibly independent. I LOVE my me time. I love a lot of me time. That has definitely been the biggest transition for me. It’s helpful that I’m totally obsessed with Joshua so I want all the time with him I can get. BUT I still like my me time here and there. Joshua is pretty great at noticing when I need it and making plans with this friends or going upstairs to read.
3.What advice do you have for couples that are moving in together?
Joshua: You should be ready to learn new things about your spouse. You will learn all sorts of things about their habits and odd quirks and good quirks about them. It’s a great time to grow as a couple and love that person deeper through all of those quirks.
Laura Leigh: One, it’s not going to be as bad as you think. I was honestly slightly terrified {as I kind of mentioned here} after all the horrors stories I heard but it has truly been a breeze. Two, communicate, communicate, communicate. Your partner is not going to know you hate that they leave the cap off the toothpaste if you don’t tell them. They’re not going to sense you want them to clean the shower if you don’t straight up say it. They may sense you’re annoyed with them BUT they won’t know why unless you spell it out for them. Communicate!
4.What have you learned since living together?
Joshua: I don’t think I never realized how OCD Laura is about things around the house. She is always slightly moving things around to make them perfect and even. Everything needs to be in the “exact right” place.
Laura Leigh: I have learned that my husband is truly the most patient man on earth. I cannot say enough how blessed I am to have him! I think I knew before we were married that he was patient but after getting married I’ve witnessed a lot more often. We’re currently working on this HUGE interior design project {almost done, eeek! can’t wait to show y’all} and he’s had the patience of Job. From picking out items online to shopping in stores to hanging oversized artwork. As mentioned above, I’ve also learned that communication is key. Communication is not my strong point but Joshua has strengthened that skill for me and it’s only made us stronger.
5.Are you happy you waited until marriage to live together? Would you recommend it?
Joshua: Yes, I am definitely happy we waited until we were married to live together.
I would highly recommend waiting until you are married to live together. It provides a whole new aspect of your relationship and you get to learn new things about your spouse. I have heard many people that have lived together before marriage say that nothing has really changed after they are married. I feel that this is a miss of the magic of living together for the first time once you are married.
Laura Leigh: I am SO happy we waited until getting married to live together. While I 100% understand why people live together prior to getting married, I knew it wasn’t right for me. I wanted to wait. Lucky for me, I found a guy that wanted to as well. I actually think this is one of the first things we talked about when we became serious. I was beyond thrilled we were on the same page. For us, we wanted things to be extra special after getting married. We wanted life to really change, for things to seem different. That’s exactly how it felt too! We came home after our honeymoon and truly began our life together.
I would definitely recommend waiting until your married to live together {if you can}. Waiting until your married builds the excitement of getting married even more. You also are pretty psyched to get home from your honeymoon because there’s more new things to come. You’ll see how your significant other acts every day, when they do everything. Which is fun! So many people think they should live together first to make sure they can make it. But my take is, if you’re serious, if you’re madly in love with this person, you’re going to make it work. You’re going to get past the little annoyances and frustrations. You’re going to find joy because you see this person every day, you snuggle up to the them in the evening and morning. It’s incredible and waiting after marriage just makes it that much more special.
Take a look back at our getting ready photos, ceremony, reception, and all other wedding posts here.
Love this post! I’ve never lived with a boyfriend, and wonder if I’ll make the decision in the future to do that before marriage. I feel like you need a test run though! I guess once you get married and then move in, you can’t really back out now. I think my biggest hurdle would be the alone time. I like me time, my stuff, my way. HA!
xo Jessica
My Style Vita
Thanks Jessica! Glad you enjoyed it. Definitely understand feeling like you need a test run! Absolutely true though, once you’re married, that person is there and you have to make it work! Yes, you are not alone with the alone time. It’s been the toughest part for me. Marry someone that travels, that helps haha.
xo Laura Leigh
Thank you so much for sharing! Hope you have a great weekend!
Of course, hope you enjoyed it!
xo Laura Leigh
Although I can’t REALLY relate to the marriage thing, I love your thoughts on living together after your married. Right now, I still technically live with my parents, but I’m actually at Matt’s apartment 4-5 days a week. BUT, it’s nice to be able to have that alone time and go to my own space! You guys better keep doing these types of posts because I LOVE THEM!
Pink Champagne Problems
Thanks gal! I really appreciate it!! Joshua and I did the same while dating. I lived with my mom and he had an apartment. I definitely agree, it was nice to have that alone time!! It’s also so nice to have so much time with him now. Plus he travels a lot so I do get alone time then. Which is always great haha. So happy to hear you love the posts!! I’ll just have to convince the husband to keep taking part.
xo Laura Leigh
Such a sweet post. My husband and I didn’t live together before we were married either. I loved it but in some ways I wish I would have seen all the other sides that you don’t see when you don’t live with someone lol!!
Thank you gal! Haha yes, I completely understand what you’re saying!!
xo Laura Leigh
This is such a cute post!
Aw thank you!
xo Laura Leigh
What a great post! I totally agree with you about the ‘me time’. I think that was definitely my hardest adjustment.
xoxo,
Kim
Thank you Kim! Glad I wasn’t the only one ha.
xo Laura Leigh
LOVE this post! It can definitely be a tough choice to make but regardless of wether it is before or after the wedding, it will always be a challenge to share the same space with someone!
Thank you! I absolutely could not agree more. You are so correct!
xo Laura Leigh
What a sweet post! I’ve actually lived with my boyfriend for 2.5 years (we are not engaged yet), so I can’t imagine waiting until marriage but I’m so happy that it was the right decision for you and your hubs! And I totally agree with needing “me” time. Living in NYC it can be hard to find an apartment with enough space to feel like you can be alone – I always tell friends in the city who are considering moving in together to splurge on a one bedroom vs a studio if they can. It makes such a huge difference to have those separate spaces when you need them!
xx Mollie
Thanks gal that is so sweet! I’m with you on doing what works best for you, what is right for you. Also, 100% agree having at least a door you can close is very important. You can at least kind of feel like you’re alone. Very good advice lady!!
xo Laura Leigh
I love these types of posts! Love the advice this gives to couples! xo
So happy you’re a fan of them! Thanks lady!
xo Laura Leigh
I actually lived with someone and decided after living together for a bit that we were not going to work out (among other reasons!) and although it was very hard to deal with at the time I am SO happy that it worked out that way because it did allow me to see what I want/don’t want!
Love this post!
While that completely sucks, that’s also great! Always good when you can learn more about what you want and don’t want!! I’m glad you’re with the right one now. Thanks gal!
xo Laura Leigh
Love your marriage posts and it was neat to hear both of your takes on it!
xo, Kristina
Aw thank you Kristina!! I’m glad you enjoy them. Hope you had a wonderful weekend.
xo Laura Leigh
loving your blog and can’t believe I’m only just finding it !! such great quality and love the layout and design !!
xx
Anna Lisa
Oh my gosh, you’re the sweetest! Thank you so much gal!
xo Laura Leigh
This was so refreshing to read! {If possible} I’d love to wait until I was married to live together so I’m glad to hear you both think that it really does make marriage that much more special.
Thank you Nicole, I really appreciate that. If it’s possible, I hope you’re able to as well!!
xo Laura Leigh
You guys sound like the perfect couple!!
Aw thanks so much gal!
xo Laura Leigh